Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Dear Gwyneth,

1. I can't eat any meat that is still attached to the bone. This applies most often to chicken. I don't love the taste of fried chicken (real fried chicken, that is) anyway, but I can't stand to see it being picked off of its bone and if I see veins, my stomach is gone. If I am in a situation where I have to eat a meat (chicken, or otherwise) in this state, my mom will still de-skin, de-bone and de-vein it for me. I don't really need her to cut it up for me, but she still does. I don't eat pork, just because in the 9th grade I decided I didn't want to. This decision wasn't based on any moral or religious reason, but simply because I wanted to think it was gross. It was easy for me to stop eating bacon, less easy to stop eating sausage because I love the breakfast burritos at McDonald's but I just learned to pick the little sausage balls out (now they remind me of dog food.) Once in 2002, I decided "that was so silly of you, Kayla" and tried to eat a sausage, egg and cheese biscuit and had to spit out the first bite. Then last year I was mistakenly served a pasta dish with bacon in it and I threw it up promptly. I have been able to successfully eat a ham and cheese since then, though.

2. I've only been a girlfriend to boys whose names began with the letter R. I am a repeat "Ryan" offender. In chronological order: Riley, Ryan S., Riley (again), Robert, Ryan M., Ryan G., Ryan M (again) and Raj. First dates that never lent themselves to a second date: Brandon, Bradley and Frederick (who went by his middle name: Boston.) I don't plan these things.

3. Asking me to be your maid-of-honor is the kiss of death for your marriage. I've been asked on two occasions and shortly after being fitted for the dress, the groom did something unforgivable and the wedding was off. (Side note: since I was seven, I've sung at fourteen weddings. All of those marriages are still going strong.)

4. When I get a new CD, it's impossible for me to listen to any song all the way through before I feel like I'm familiar with the project as a whole. Then I can go back and take the CD song-by-song. I tend to listen to the radio single last and hate it the most. In my opinion track 11 is usually the best on any CD and if there is no 11, track 2, provided it's not the radio single or namesake of the album.

5. Can't listen to commercials on the radio. Can't stand it when someone changes the channel during commercial breaks on the television. Go figure.

6. I am internally conflicted until I can identify a celebrity that reminds me of all the people I know. This is why I'm forever saying, "You remind me of Dakota Fanning" or "Isn't he like a young Dustin Hoffman?" etc. I've never really found anyone that reminds me of myself. It makes me a little sad.

7. I can't drop a deuce with shoes or socks on. Add that to the list of reasons not to take a dump anywhere but your home.

Pretty quirky indeed,
Kayla

P.S. You looked so hot in Iron Man!

2 comments:

lindsey said...

Nice list. I know I did that a long time ago back on xanga, but apparently I'm not as entertaining now as I once thought I was. :-)

As far as piercings go, if you want cool handmade spirally things, you need to get them at least to a 10 gauge, but you'd have a much better selection at 6 or 8.

If you have your ears pierced now, you could probably get up to a 6 safely and almost painlessly by fall.

Pamcasso said...

Kaylala! I agree with you on song 11. I always date men who are the same- slightly rebellious sweet geniuses who are stubborn and opinionated. But no repeats on names. My cousin only dated guys named Ben, she's getting married to one in July. I guess that means she could have wrapped all the presents when she was 15?